Waiting in Vainness

A friend gave me a wonderful “healing charm” bracelet for Christmas. It made me think if I’m still in pain, grieving, or unwell? 

It was my mother’s 1st death anniversary last Jan. 17. Sometimes, I wonder if I did not grieve enough, felt sad enough over her death.

When emotional issues like this comes up, I crochet. I crochet so my mind will not be idle, and no emo thoughts would get in. I hook and hook and hook and hook and hook.

I started crocheting when I was watching my mother in her last days; while we were waiting for her “rebirth.”

And, now she’s gone, I’m crocheting to put death to thoughts I don’t want to entertain; while (yet another) waiting. 

I felt like Life is a one big waiting. In between is a series of waiting. I won’t preach about making the most of waiting blahblah because at the end of it, seriously, no one will hold it against on how you make it so lame or good except for the memorial company who will ask photos of you for a slideshow presentation. Of course, you want to give photos of #yolo and happiness to St. Peter memorial. 

Ate Mona/Elsie and few friends have been asking why I’m givinng away all the things I crocheted. Well, it serves its purpose already. I made them to fill in the gaps of waiting. And, I honestly, I don’t really want to see the finished stuff I made after. I dunno if I find them ugly or I hate to be attached. 

But not these latest 2 finished items:

I don’t like making table runners and motifs but they actually turn out cute. 🙂

Who wore it better: the table or me?!?

(Finally, I got a photographer. But a photographer does not necessarily means it makes me look more beautiful.)

I got this yarn for free from a raffle by Ashley’s Crochet. I’m not a violet/purple person so this yarn color was not something I was excited about. But it’s perfect for this cousin-in-law who loves purple. She was messaging me about making her some thing so receiving the yarn was the perfect timing.

Anyhow, I love how the color gradient turned out. I also love the feel of it; and most of all, I love how I make it look pretty.

(Panuhot lang po iyan.)

I so want to keep it.But I can wait.On to the next “waiting.”

OOTD: cropped top by i

Lippy from @keihlasmom travel loot

Shades from Color Me Run

Yarn Therapy

So I quit my job, and went yarn hoarding. Not really! My yarn numbers are not that massive. 

This batch arrives today from Baguio. I love the acrylic yarns (indophil & lanalon)  from Baguio. You can check Baguioyarns.com for solid colors of acrylics.

These ones are lanalon. Compared to indophil, Lanalon looks and feels rough at first, but it gets fluffy as you use it. 

If you want those color mixes, you can check Baguio Yarns by Miss Crochet A Lot, and Ashley’s Crochet. There are a lot of other sellers but these 3 from Baguio are whom I have experience. And, they’re very super fast and professional. 

The cotton yarns from Baguio is something I kinda have a love-and-hate but I do have a few cakes of them.

So that’s why I tried dying my own cotton yarns. It’s very hard to find the “thicker” type (worsted) of ply-ed cotton yarns. There are a lot of imported but they are quite expensive.

The cotton we used mostly here locally are the “threads.” They’re just slightly bigger than the thread we used for sewing.

I’d been avoiding using them because I find awkward to hold the tiny hook for the tiny thread. And, because it’s tiny, the project may also take more time to finish. 

But I’m loving the feel of it.

And, also thanks to friends who donated yarns to me! The latest fancy yarns from Boyeng from JPN. @.@

Ang Hindi Marunong Lumingon

This 2017: to become a fulltime fashionblogger of her own sustainable handmade fashion studio — You know social entrepreneurship, the fancy term for capitalism. 

Welcome to my environment-friendly pool. Look fabulously breezy in this top from my Summer collection whether by the beach, in the pool, or doing laundry.

Wanted penpal. Perfect to look extra sultry for souvenir / memorabilia / profile pic photos.

This top perfect for sun bathing; not tested in water bathing.

Insert caption: Ang taong hindi marunong lumingon sa kanyang pinanggalingan ay “talikodgenic.”

Photo credits: Ate Mona / Top for an Aunt.

Now accepting orders for Summer Collection. Free loofah. 

July Yarn-about

Sometime this year, I made a vow to at least post once a week here to populate the worldwideweb with good content. =)

Anyhow, I got hooked with hooking yarns that I missed a week or 2 of posting here. I kinda tend to have a personality that when I like something, I’m going to put on a “repeat mode” until I have enough of it, I want to puke. When I like a dish, I’m going to have it over and over again until just the thought of it makes me want to puke. I guess this is human nature, right?

So last week of June, I picked up the crochet hook, and finished what my mother started. Then, it never stops from there.

In July, I made a yoga mat bag for a friend from the leftover yarns I have on hand. I had to make this quick, in 3 days because she’s leaving for Manila to pursue her PhD. =)

I hate the color combination because I think it’s too “kiddie” for a PhD career woman. Of course, being a “psychology” professor, she was all praises for it.

A photo posted by @craftynanay on

Then, it was some sort of an ultramarathon doing this “Big bag” for Leah, the birthday girl. When I saw the pattern at first time, it was her in my mind. She likes bags, and she has a thing for big bags as big as her.

A photo posted by @craftynanay on

In between, I’m trying to squeeze in making small crochet items like this cat butt coaster. I’m planning to give this to Kapehan Ceferina, because their coffee drinkers are cat-lovers. =) (Directions in going to Kapehan Ceferina here >>.)

A photo posted by @craftynanay on

I realized that I prefer big crochet projects that will get me hooking until I wanted to puke watching yarns after yarns. Then, I get out from it and survive. It’s like that high of running meaningless long runs. I’d hate it, but then I wanna do it again.

 So last for July is yet another yoga mat bag for a yoga teacher friend, Caren. She wanted yellow and black originally. I may not be good at color combination, but I know that it would look like a pedestrian lane. So we decided on a blue and yellow color combination. But I chose dark blue which almost looks like black. Thus the finished product still looks like close to pedestrian lane. Anyhow, my friend can use it to create PEDESTRIAN AWARENESS CAMPAIGN to drivers. =)

 And, oh, this is the first crochet project that I did not fully rely on a design pattern. I found exactly like this on pinterest but the method she used was “tapestry” or something like that, and I found it complicated and used a lot of yarns. So I kind of pick here and there patterns, and just hook it along the way.

A photo posted by @craftynanay on

That will probably be the last yoga mat bag I’m going to crochet because I don’t really see what’s the use of yoga mat bags. =) But if you’re going to pay me to make one or at least buy the yarns, I would be happy to do so!

Of Life, Death, & Tangled Yarns

Finally, this blanket crochet project of my mother is done. 

Probably 6 months before her terminal diagnosis, she got into crocheting again. I could remember when I was small, she hooked a lot. She would make small pieces of table accessories to dresses for me, which I did not like to wear because it’s kinda heavy.

When Karla of @damgocebu (check IG) started making dreamcatchers sometime in 2014, I remembered my nanay’s crochet hobby. So I bought some materials for her, printed out patterns. Then, she started working on blankets for my kids. She had done one for Margaret and Mateo. She just had started for Miguel, but was never able to progress much because she’s feeling all sorts of “not-feeling” well. That’s when we got the diagnosis.
When the diagnosis came out, probably to cope up with it, she said that she would just go home and finished Migi’s blanket. But she got weaker and weaker. It was painful to see her getting frustrated of not being able to even hold the hook. So we promised her that I would finish it in case when she really needed to “rest.”
So slowly I took over the project. I begged her many times to pick an easier pattern because the pattern looks complicated (I’m a very beginner.). But she refused because Migi chose the pattern, and she kept saying that it’s an easy pattern. How could I say no to a very sick person?!?
Anyhow, I took it as a way for me to take my mind off from the sad situation — my own coping too. Then I stopped when she got so “balisa” (needy and probably in much pain). 
Then I continued working on it again after she finally went into eternal rest to take my mind off from the recent happenings.
Then I stopped working on it again because I feel “grief” looking at the yarns. I stored it away from my sight.
Then, my uncle Ambo was back from Africa (He’s OFW working in Africa for 4months then home for a month then back again.). He was here when Nanay passed away. They were saying she was waiting for him; she passed away a day before his flight back to Africa, and so he had to cancel his flight to attend the interment.
So seeing my uncle, it means it’s been 4 months already. How time flies.
Somehow, I should finish it already. We kinda need to move on. 
(That all-yellow patch somewhere in the center is what my nanay started.)

Thank you for this, nanay! It’s a beautiful symbol from you about life, love, and maybe death.