Pre-birthday Thoughts: Losing My Innocence

Losing my innocence is when I stop believing in “changing the world.”

As they say that the world does not need changing. It was perfect all along. It’s the humans that need changing.

I guess life has been hard when I realized that. Because “changing the world” is much easier to do than “changing humans.” I can hardly even change myself.

I don’t know where I encounter this thought. Maybe it was from that Fidel Castro book. How I hate that I read his book. Life has been so much harder to live after reading that book. Because it always leads me to ask if what I’ve been doing can really affect people in positive ways.

But as they say that making our own selves better is more than enough.

And so the endless question of really am I making myself better? Is what I am hardworking hard here can make me any better than lounging in a hammock on a beach sipping margarita?

I mean I could just do nothing, and the world will probably be a much better place.

Creativity (#4/32)

How do creative people become creative?!? This is one of the biggest question I have! I want to be creative.

I work hard for it, but it seems that it needs more than working hard.

I chase it. But it’s like catching a smoke, it just slips however tight you hold onto it.

And, funny that when you thought you finally able to figure out, you’re too tired to pursue it.

Relationships (#3/32)

I got lost at the start of the run, which is totally not unexpected. 🙂

In moments like this on a race, I kill the worry by putting my mind somewhere. And, relationships came into my mind.

When finding a partner, we can have a whole list of the strengths to find in someone — from physical, mental, financial, to spiritual. But we rarely think of the “weaknesses” we should find in a partner. Well, who wants to think about negatives.

But I think relationships can last long because we can endure the not-so-good sides of the another. My point is that maybe we should also have a list of what weaknesses we can accept / put up in anothee. Because it is given that we can right away love the positive factors. But dealing with the not-so-sunshiny part of each other is a whole different game.

Actually, I was thinking of the annoying things of Mark the husband, which kind of made me think that, “hey, i’m also annoying.”

Finally, he finished an ultra distanced race. 🙂 And, he hates how bad he was at it! So no need for congratulations. In this relationship, I’ll save that for #4.