at 30

I attended my highschool friends wedding. And, I guess it’s the first get-together with HS friends that i attended to. Back then, I would not join any of the reunions because I was always pregnant, and I think I’s the first to get married in the batch — my low-confidence was at lowest. =) I felt I’d be odd-one-out of the ‘yuppie’ crowd. Everyone was probably enjoying their corporate life or so whatever, while I worked to get rest days from the chaos at home. =)

Funny that one of my classmates introduced me to her fiancee as one of the smartest of the batch, and she did not expect that I’d be the first to get married. Lollers. Smart huh.

Funnier that when I started to go out and join them, there’s no longer much of a crowd. I guess 30 is the age when every one is starting their own family, and started to retire from the party scene. Ow what a timing I’m in!

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Earlier this year when I was in constant face-to-face with HRs, and met a few of my classmates now HR managers and such. I felt so odd-one-out too, how dignified looking they are with their formal attire and that authoritative look while I’m still in jeans and shirts.

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Thirty is when I felt everyone’s aged. The aunts and uncles and relatives just seem to look aged. Their faces now show wrinkles. Because I’m now 30 and they’re now 40 / 50.

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Thirty is when  it seems the people I look up to back then seems to be just the same as who I am.
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Thirty is when you resolved your confusions / worries about life but new set of confusions / worries comes in.

Whereas before I was confused as to what school to send my kids too. Now I’m confused if it’s the right thing to do.

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Thirty is when the things I enjoy is no longer fun.

Grocery for me was something I look forward to but then now every time I get to the counter, and I know that after 6 months the bagger and the cashier will no longer be there for the company to avoid keeping regular employees, it’s just does not feel right any more.

That my a-week grocery is probably a big chunk of their income — the cashier, the bagger, the tricycle driver.

TV is such a bore. Books are such a bore.

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See I’m 30. I’m old. I’m such a bore and bitter! But then I’m 30 so I have the right to be.