I was up early in the morning because Mati was up early (too many early words). I thought of making the instant pancake mix. Cooking is not my thing. But I can cook well enough to not die. And, turning instant pancake mix into something edible is one the most dreaded recipe I want to tackle. There is something about mixing flour and milk, and getting the mix into the pan that scares me much. So after adding milk to the mix, I was just staring it for some time thinking of backing out from the task, and just wait for Mark to be up and do the cooking.
I find my behavior odd, probably much more to the people who loves cooking. Anyhoo, I was able to make 2 small boxes of instant pancake. And, I was amazed of myself.
Reflecting on it, I kind of realized that my ‘negative’ perception at cooking could be traced back to my Nanay. My mother is a great cook, maybe because my lolo is Ilocano — something about Ilocanos being good cook. She is also perfectionist and meticulous in her cooking. So she always has this rules in cooking:
* how you handle the knife — the sharp side should face you when peeling. Though, HE books said it should be away from you. But then HE book is not my mother.
* the sizes of the slices should be uniformed.
* sunny-side-up eggs should be perfect
* clean-up while preparing
* and, all those little details which do not appeal to me. I’m ‘burara,’ and I don’t understand those little details and rules. As long as it is edible, I could not care how it was done. But my mother is kind of ‘obsessed’ with the perfect process. Thus, I leave the cooking to her, and keep myself to washing dishes.
Then, I relate it to my overall personality. I notice that Mark and I have different ways of ‘learning.’ If Mark is interested with something, he tends to read all the resources about it before really dipping his hands to it. While, I tend to hit on the task right away, and hopes it will work out. For example, if we plan to go to a new place, Mark would research everything about it, he is probably more knowledgeable than the ‘host’ of the place. He does not like to be unprepared. While, I, with my ‘burara’ mindset, will figure out my way when we get there.
Looking at it, between the 2 of us, I’m most probably will make a lot of mess/mistakes. But, I realized that people have different ways of learning process. Mark is the study-first before action. While, I go straight to action, and if things get sticky, then I will study. I guess it’s probably because Mark can visualize things even without touching them. While, I have a hard time putting pieces together without experiencing it. I need to experiment right away to get the feel. I need to get a feel.
I do not say his way is better or mine is better. It is just we have to be open that people have different ways of learning. And, it happens that my way of learning, my way to understand things better is can entail a lot of mistakes.
So back to cooking, my nanay’s being perfectionist kind of prevented me from doing mistakes, of trying things on my own. The thing is I am the kind of person who needs to do things on her own to have a better grasp of it, and unfortunately, this kind of learning process entails a lot of mistakes. And for my nanay, an ugly sunny-side-up is a sign of lousiness, not a ‘learning process.’
This is not a hate mail for my nanay owkei. She has long accepted the fact that my husband will be served ugly looking sunny side ups.
Looking at my kids now, I wonder who among them takes after me.
So thing is mistakes can be costly — money, time, and ‘reputation.’ But i/we have to be open that there exist people who learn by making mistakes. We should be mistake-friendly. =)