I am a wife as big as the house. Other than that, I’ve done nothing much to claim that name.
When I was ‘younger,’ I dreamed of becoming a plain housewife with 6 kids, married to a farmer. We would have a ‘bahay kubo’ in the middle of the farm. I will then sweep the yard in the afternoon while waiting for him to come home. While the older kids are watering our plants, and the younger ones playing bato-lata. And, also some ongoing cooking in the kitchen so food still hot when my farmer husband will be home.
So that is basically my idea of a wife. It looks like a picture lifted from a grade 1 Filipino book with the poem/song ‘Magtanim ay di biro.’
Fast forward, only the ‘waiting for the husband’ part of my dream came true. The rest remains a childhood dream. I married a husband who thinks that women should be out of the house. And aside from that, based on economic analysis and financial statistics, I really need to work for additional income.
Then, I had a short stint of becoming a full-time stay-at-home mother when Mati was born. Unknowingly at that time, I was really really depressed, suicidal depressed. It might be PPD, or I was just lost.
So when Mati turned 1, I turned my back from that stay-at-home. Looking at it now, I need to do it to save myself. I got a job, then quit, got a freelance, then quit, do my own thing, then got a job, then I was ‘fired’ because technically, I did not quit.
So now that I ran out of adventures to do, after some feasibility studies, and deep analysis, we thought it’s time I should be a housewife so that our kids will not look like they are just being parked at home. But, Thank God for our very efficient support system, I’m useless around the house. I’m left with nothing much to do except to wait for the houseboy, magmika, make a hot-air-balloon out of myself, and have ‘psych war’ with my kids. You know, my kids do not really know what to make of me in the house thus they constantly pick on me. I probably just look like one of their playmates who just come and go in their daily life, someone not to be taken seriously.
So right now, I do not deserve to be called a housewife. I’m also not much of a mother. For now, I can do with having the badge of ‘parked wife.’ Hopefully, I will evolve — housewife, mother, or if not, at least a much better title than ‘parked wife.’ =)