It was mati’s 2nd birthday yesterday, and as usual I was thinking of making a birthday post for him — where I usually would thank God for having my babies and all the blessings that come with them.
But I realized that I have been doing the thank-you birthday post for all my kids ever since, and did not really bother much asking them if they are thankful or what are they thankful of. Of course they are ‘babies,’ they do not know pretty much how to articulate what they feel.
But nevertheless, what/who are my kids thankful about?
I always say I’m thankful of having them. Are they also thankful of having me/us as their parents?
What can be they considered as blessings to their lives?
I/us automatically thinks that our kids are thankful for having us.
I remember a conversation I had with another mother about “how we, as parents, take very good care of them, sacrifice a lot for them but will they care about/for us when we get old?’
My reply was just getting along with her. But In my mind, the daughter in me was revolting, I was like how dare if my parents think that way? What happens to the love definition that love is not expecting something in return. What happens to the free love? Of course, children do care for their parents but as to how/what are their ways of giving back is something that should be leave up to them. Mybe we,parents, are asking for some thing kids cannot give.
But thinking from a mother point of view: In one of our random conversations, Mark asked me how would I react if Mati (it was mati was with us at that time) will ignore me when I get old? After being a slave to him when he was a baby. giving in to his demands, all the sacrifices and such, then just ignore me when I get old. I shot back at him without thinking, ‘maayo pa gilabay na lang sa sapa pagka bata.’ I was joking but yaa, it made me think. It hurts, but then can I really take it against him that he does not like me?
How I, and so some parents, are planning a grand scheme for our kids’ life. Of course, we always say ‘kung saan ka masaya, suportaan ta ka.’ But at the back of our minds, we secretly wish that they would end up pursuing what we like or something related to what we like. We then sacrifice a lot for our kids, give up some personal happiness, get into financial debts just so our kids can have that bright future all laid out for them. And, when kids get into sh*t, destroy their bright future — they are then labeled ungrateful/wa’y utang na loob for being insensitive to their parents sacrifices.
So, what would children do? Did they really ask us to kill ourselves for their bright future?
I just have to remind myself — kids are love not obligations, and so we must be to them.
(what an angsty post for a birthday.sorry, mat.)