mark and i lately have this conversation that there will be a time that our kids should/must be on their own (we’re leveling up)
mark thinks that ideally college should be the time
while i think that it should be high school (at least they should be given the idea of ‘independence’ at high school)
we both agree mostly with that matter for the reason that both of us went thru that kind of experience
highschool when i already lived in a boardinghouse to be near uphigh, only going home on weekends, breaks, summer vacation
mark also had to live in labangon to be closer to dbtc
do we think weirdly?at times, i’d feel we’re such odd parents
it’s just that i feel that we have this ‘thinking/culture’ that we should as much as possible have our kids close to us because one day they will be separated from us.
and, we will no longer have the chance of having them back.
and, then here we are thinking of pushing our kids to move out makes me feel we’re such a ‘sore eyes’ (?) in the community
anyway, having your kids close to you until centuries later sounds romantic
but then other than that — the ‘close family tie’ advantage,
what are the other benefits to your kids (i say TO YOUR KIDS)?
i feel having the kids stay as close to us as possible is more of a convenience to the parents than to the kids
some of my reasons of freeing them:
* we live in too much fear. fear that our kids one day will left us, which is very untrue. we all know that parents/family will always be parents/family, we’ve been children once.
* to much fear that the world outside is bad. (and, home is not?)
* because i believe there are more better things and more good people to whom my kids can learn from. it’s too conceited for us, as parents, to think that we are the best molder of citizens so they better stay close to us.
* it’s better to see them try explore and fail and get into whatever monkey business while they are still young. (God forbid) and, i’m also ‘young’ to pick them up from whatever mess they will be in (can this b categorized as independence?)
* and, most of all i do not like to clean up their puke when they get drunk. thank you, but let your drinking buddies clean you up. because i might be able to hack you with axe. (hopefully, they all get mark’s allergy towards alcohol) =)
it’s the best way, i think, for them to develop their own personality. and, for the reason that i’m pretty much not confident with our own ‘personality’ to rub it on them. i guess, it’s more than enough that 98% of their intelligence comes from us. let’s give einstein a chance on the 2%.