ever since i quit from my last real job, backed out from a ‘raket’ job
now, i gave up another ‘raket’ job (boom boom and all the drama)
i now finally get to have some time to listen to some music. (literally.listening to extraordinary love cover by mymp.i still think jeniffer love-hewit’s the best.)
ever since i ‘quit,’ i felt every thing is non-stop, i’m like rushing from one thing to another
just whatever my hands could get on.
and, i think it’s because to make up for those stuff i turned my back from
to justify my being unemployed and ‘palamunin’
i have to look busy
mark and i have this agreement — 3 weekdays out of the house, 2 weekdays and weekends at
so i have to cram all the things i need to do in 3 weekdays
when i quit, i had the goal of becoming a ‘freelance’ writer
then i want something more
so i get into any thing which i think could help me get to what ever is that ‘something more’ i want
then, i finally find something i really really really like
which i posted about it last time
i wanna be jessica livingston, or something just a little close to her,
for the whole 28years that i existed, it is just now that i have something i really really really like
so bad it hurts, i do not mind jumping off from a cliff just to have it (all the exagge)
you know if it is just possible, i will work on it 24hours — which is a big NO NO NO because i have kids
thus, sometimes i have the urge to bang my head on the wall
for how i wasted my time back in college, back when i was still single
when nobody cares if i sleep or not
when nobody gets affected if i get cranky, stressed, and ready to eat humans alive
if i could just reach out to that ‘college-kid drifter rose back in time’, i would shake her to death to wake her up and how she wasted time
so over these months, i am unemployed — i turn myself to becoming such an ambitious whore
since i already felt old, 3 kids waiting for me
i could really really really get cranky and moody when things don’t get as i planned because i do not have the luxury of abundant free time
and, i really get crank early this morning
so according to mark, my only other friend (gawd, how lifeless i can be)
when you feel being too pressed by things, PUSH BACK
so i’m pushing back some things that i could no longer handle
i have 3 options to give up — my jessica livingston obsession, my raket job, or cut on my time with my kids
so tada, bye bye raket job.
welcome, struggling ‘ambitious life’
local tech scene, here i come!
i’ll be turning Cebu to silicon valley-ish
where we are tech innovators, and not just tech consumers!
owkei, that makes my head spin.
(i’m hesitant to publish this, but what the heck!it’s nice to share ambitions, right?)