what to buy when you’re expecting?

I sometimes find myself being asked about my opinion on what baby stuffs/brand by first-time mothers.
to which i find myself dumbfounded
being a mother for 5 years with 3 kids, i’m over that ‘stage’ (excited about buying baby stuffs)
asking me about baby stuffs is like asking a college student what ballpen/notebook brand should i buy
all college kids, who’d been in school for like how many years, know parker/apache/pilot ballpen does not matter how well you do in school
maybe parker will inspire you to do good or give you a ‘sikat’ factor, or will not go boinkers in the middle of an exam compared to apache
but at the end of the day, you’re still a student =) (no logic but me just like to put it that way)

but it’s hard to explain that to excited 1st time mothers
that what things you will buy does not really matter
i know the feeling because i was like that before
an expensive feeding bottle will not make your kid more healthy
an expensive crib does not guarantee a good night of sleep for you and your baby
well, they are quite durable and will last long –> but they cannot calm down a crying baby, or calm down a tired and anxious parents

but here are some thoughts of a pilot-gtec-pen-user mother
because i love my thoughts


feeding bottles
i’m not the person to ask about avent bottles because i have not use them.
i’ve been asked a few times about avent
At the time i have miguel, my dream feeding bottles were those with pooh and tigger drawings
and, when i heard about the avent rave later on, and checked on it — it’s priced at P400-700+ a piece.
i mean hello — total shock as tigger/pooh feeding bottles was just like less than P100
and, my salary at that time was P10t
in short — i cannot afford it!
i have nothing against avent == i just cannot afford it
i know a lot who find it very good and worth it
but what i have used and can recommend is the pigeon brand feeding bottles
it’s cheaper (around P150+) but lasts long
i had given away migi’s but meg’s are still alive and she’s already 4 years old
so they’re quite durable
and what i like about it is that ‘stopper’ sthing (forgot the name)
but it’s like sthing inserted to the airhole so it will not drip when the baby stops sucking the milk
infants do not know that they’re already ‘busog’ so as long as milk would drip from their feeding bottle, they would suck it w/c can lead to over ‘busog’ and puking
i think that was the purpose of the stopper, if i remember it right
the pooh/tigger lasted with us for a little over a year

with mati, i used evenflo which is also not that pricey
but i cannot say much about it because it’s just a year ago that i tried it

before you buy feeding bottles, you should think/plan if you’re going to breastfeed or not or mix
if you’re going to mostly breastfeed, no need to buy lots of feeding bottles — you can start with 2 4-oz bottles just in case you need to leave the house and cannot tag along the baby with you


Diaper
cloth or disposable?
if you have a good support system, laundry crew and all
do try cloth diapers, they look cute, and save mother earth
but if the mess of cloth diaper is too much for you to handle, do not be a superhero, use disposable
it’s good to save mother earth but prioritize saving your sanity
or you can try alternating cloth/disposable
for disposable diapers:
for newborn — i recommend pro-kids newborn. newborn size is different from small size
newborn is a lot cheaper but do not stock a lot of it because infants grow fast
expensive or cheap diaper?
i mentioned it from my long time ago post, depende ra na sa anad.
if your baby is used to expensive brands, more likely to get rashes on cheap brands and vice versa
but if you’re baby is a heavy wee-wee-er, it might be more practical to go for the more expensive  because they’re truly are more absorbent and don’t leak easily
one way to know if your baby is heavy wee-wee-er is if you experience many leaking accidents at night which causes you to change a lot of diapers
so might as well go for a more expensive one but then it will last the whole night
i recommend the pampers dry (green packaging now i think) and/or huggies dry (red packaging)

crib
for 1st time parents, this is probably one of the things you’ll be obsessing about
having a crib is like the ultimate symbol that you are now ready to have the baby
but before you buy, consider co-sleeping (having the baby sleep beside you)
it might be more convenient — it’s easier to soothe a crying baby in the middle of the night when you have him/her beside
because if the baby is in the crib, you need to get up to soothe him/her
whereas she/he is beside you, you can easily stretch your hand and pik2x him/her

but crib can be important also
when you are alone, and you need to do something, you can put the baby in the crib while you finish something
she/he is safer inside the crib — from falling and all

but crib never worked with us
i never ever used the crib with mati because i find such a hassle of putting and picking him up from the crib
i had crib with migi and meg but it was not much used
because they just hate to be put in it. drat!

crib is something you should really really think about before buying
because it will take a lot of space and it’s a bit difficult to store it when you’re kid does not really like it (unless you have a mansion though)
and, you cannot just easily dispose it off or give away because it’s tad expensive
it would not hurt to buy it a little later

stroller
i recommend you get the most basic umbrella type
unless you have SUV and a whole crew with you to pack and unpack it when you go out, then go for those with all the shiznit stroller
but i recommend, get something handy that is easy to handle when your baby wants to be carried already (imagine yourself carrying and pushing the stroller at the same time plus the baby bag and other baby gadgets)
so get something that you can still manage to handle when you are also at the same time carrying a baby
get something that will fit into the taxi’s luggage or you can easily carry on even on jeepney rides
someone gifted us with this very hi-tech stroller but it did not fit into a typical sedan/taxi kind of car — ultimate fail whale.
we realized we need an SUV just to get it transported
and, since it’s quite a size, we need a whole army crew to operate it.
so it ended up as a ‘mobile’ crib

milk
i cannot say much about milk
because i’m a victim of milk ads
i got carried away about the thought that milk can be a big factor defining your child’s intelligence which is really stupidddd because it looks like i’m underestimating my kids
so i think the only time you should be particular about milk is during infant time
after that, as long as your kids eat well, you no longer need to stress much on milk

but there’s really no need to buy all the baby stuffs before you deliver
it will leave your ninongs/ninangs and well-wishers with nothing to buy because you had already crossed all your baby stuffs to-buy items
buy the immediate necessary items, and items which you cannot entrust to other people

first time mothers tend to prepare and hoard all the baby stuffs as they can before the delivery
because it is probably the only way we know how to prepare for the big day
we would surround ourselves with all the baby stuffs because it is our way of comforting ourselves that i am ready to be a parent

as i said, they do not really matter
motherhood is not about the crib — it’s about the sleeping time you need to let go of
it’s not about the feeding bottles — it’s about cleaning up the puke and smelling puke after feeding
it’s not about the diapers — it’s about cleaning up poo after poo, waking up cleaning someone’s arse, and having to get up in the middle of sleep to clean someone’s arse
it’s not about the stroller — it’s about looking for 1001 ways to calm a crying baby just because he/she wants to cry

in the end, nothing can really prepare you for motherhood
even if you have experience babysitting for years
it’s a totally different thing when it is your own your baby you’re dealing with

so hold yourself from buying all the cute things you find on the shelves
reserve them when you need some retail therapy
to perk yourself up from babysitting =)

(fin’ly, find a way to finish this, albeit lamely.)