long list

all in all, i believe year 08 was great
though it was not that sunshiny but i guess that made it great
it was a year of ‘everything-happens-for-a-reason’ realization

one of the best things, probably the very best thing, that happen to me in 08 was being jobless. quitting my job. i really felt bad quitting from my work. i always had the thought that if mark loses his job (God forbid!), we can still live on mine. it was like a ‘security’ for me. so i quit my job with my eyes closed leaving every thing to God. and, indeed God provides — though not always how i wanted to be but proves to be more than what i want. so i’m thankful for that, the gift of a more solid FAITH in HIM.

i quit from my job mostly because of/for mati. but later in the year i realized that it was not only mati who benefitted from it but also for the whole family especially migi and i. you know how i always whine/complain about me and migi’s differences, how we are always at each other’s throat. i guess with my staying around plus ate love’s leaving us (she left us for good to be with her textmate boyfriend in leyte), it made me go down on my knees with this ‘mothering’ thing. with only i and ate mona in the house, we sort of agree that i’ll have the kids and the rest will be hers. =) .before, when kids started to get messy, i have someone to help me deal with them or i’ll leave and let ‘ate love/mona’ deal with them. but now, i can mostly count on myself. it was not easy from the start (i guess that’s how it is always at start), dealing with a crying baby and 2 squabbling toddlers day to day, i even consider the idea of giving migi to my MIL because we’re this close to ‘killing’ (i’m exaggerating) each other. i guess my problem was not really about migi’s stubbornness/etc, i was more stress and frustrated that why cannot migi just be nice like the other kids which in turns made me feel that somehow i had done something wrong which means i’m such a failure. i guess with our constant head-ons and exposure to each other, i come to know migi much better. we learn to adjust to each other’s personalities and become more accepting of each other’s showtcomings. i’m now more sensitive to what/who/when/which ticks him

 , or pro’lly he just mature or i, or a mix of everything, i learn to know migi we learn to adjust to each other’s personalities and become more accepting of each other’s showtcomings. our relationship is now better. we still do have our day-to-day bickerings (it will not be migi and rose if there’s no fight), but now i know when to back out and let it just slide. i guess i could say, i now know migi much better. and, i’m so HAPPY about that!