keeping our children from harm

i read in sun-star in their ‘speak out’ column about a father’s reaction to the rachelle mae palang incident. this is old news so i guess everybody knows what happen to her. her family hails from ‘lacion, and is quite close with mark’s family so it’s something close to home.

when you have kids and become a mother, it would somehow change your perspectives, on how you view things. like the case of rachelle mae, it made me think what if it was my daughter (God forbid!) who was on her shoe, of course i would be sad. but other thoughts like why did that happen? where did i go wrong? should i blame my self/my kid? should i be proud/ashame of what happen?

so the father wrote in the sun-star column that he’s worried about the school organizations his 2 daughters would get involved with. he mentioned that his daughter once relate to him that her classmate asked her to join a rally but the daughter refused because she knew that he would not allow them. then, qouted from the article:
        ‘They do agree with me now that the right thing to do is to heed their parents and work hard on their studies so that they can help alleviate the family’s economic situation.
         I believe our family’s dream is shared by many others.
         My dream as a father to provide for my family what they need is also the dream of others.
         And, I’m sure so is my dream to keep my children safe from harm and away from bad elements, who poison their minds and make them turn their backs to the government and take up arms.’

his intentions are quite noble to hear. but somehow this makes me sad. there are some things in his beliefs that i think are quite not right. but i guess to each his own.

and my own is that one, i’m all for instilling the value of helping the family and other people. but i just don’t like the idea of parents putting the burden of alleviating the family’s economic situation to the kids. that it’s the children’s responsibility to give support to the family’s financial needs. if you cannot financially sustain a family, how much more you kids so please do not breed and multiply (look who’s talking).

two, father’s/parent’s role is not all about being a great provider. it’s more important is how you mold your kids, about helping them build a good character/attitude. because if they have it, there’s no need for you to guard them from harm or poisonous elements as they are already know how to deal with them.

three, don’t keep them away from harm. as they say, ‘harm/failures/mistakes are the best teachers.’ so if you always keep them away from harm, you’re depriving them of the best lessons they’d learn.

four, i can’t believe i’m talking this deep serious. remember i’m a mother of 3 so i have now the right to say this kind of shiznit. anyway, mark and i always have this conversation about what does ‘giving your kids the best’ really means? what’s the obsession with ‘giving the best’ – best milk, best vitamins, best food, best toy, best environment to live, best school, best teacher, best course/degree, best sports, best best best. well, i do not know. i know that real world can be quite the opposite.

so back to rachelle mae. i’d rather know that my kid died in a crossfire fighting blindly for the poor than being a casualty in a mall/party/disco bombing. but, God forbid, simbako palayoooooooo!