skeletons in my closet

in time for halloween, i want to air out some black skeletons hiding in my closet which are hiding there for years… and, lately it’s beginning to haunt me. excess baggages trying to kill your peace of mind. things i’m not comfortable thinking or talking about. which, unfortunately, instead of facing them, i’m also trying to hide and run away from them because i’m scared of what pandora box i’ll be opening.

i do not know how to say this but the thing is that my parents are separated since i’m 8 years old (i’m not really sure but i think i’m 8 at that time). it’s not about 3rd party but i’m not sure what is the real cause of their separation — i hear different versions so i do not know which is true or all of them can be true. i’m not bitter about the separation or is there any hate about what happen. well, if it’s what’s best for everybody then be it.

what i really wanted is closure. closure with my tatay… but i do not want to go over to my tatay without my nanay’s consent. well, i really do not what’s between them but i also want for the 2 of them to have some sort of closure too. but, knowing my nanay, the last time this issue was brought up, she was angry. my nanay is hypertensive so this kind of stuffs should be taken carefully with her.

but before i could have those above closures, there’s a need for me to close the communication gap between me and nanay. blame it on the 36-year gap between us plus the thing that since highschool, i was away from her. righteous consevative mother vs UP environment growing up daughter. i’m not a rebel kid but there are things i come to accept that for her are mortal sins. i think growing up, i keep 2 faces — the one which i assume how my mother would want me to be, and the other one which is more like I (i really do not know how my friends see me but that’s it). if you think of this dilemma(sp?), it’s easy as 1 + 1. but sometimes, life is complicated, just like that. =)

so this all souls day, i will light candles for our souls, and for all those who have some  ‘excess baggage’/cross/whateveryoucallthem to be able to find that closure and  peace of mind.

happy all souls and saints day! =)

skeletons in my closet

in time for halloween, i want to air out some black skeletons hiding in my closet which are hiding there for years… and, lately it’s beginning to haunt me. excess baggages trying to kill your peace of mind. things i’m not comfortable thinking or talking about. which, unfortunately, instead of facing them, i’m also trying to hide and run away from them because i’m scared of what pandora box i’ll be opening.

i do not know how to say this but the thing is that my parents are separated since i’m 8 years old (i’m not really sure but i think i’m 8 at that time). it’s not about 3rd party but i’m not sure what is the real cause of their separation — i hear different versions so i do not know which is true or all of them can be true. i’m not bitter about the separation or is there any hate about what happen. well, if it’s what’s best for everybody then be it.

what i really wanted is closure. closure with my tatay… but i do not want to go over to my tatay without my nanay’s consent. well, i really do not what’s between them but i also want for the 2 of them to have some sort of closure too. but, knowing my nanay, the last time this issue was brought up, she was angry. my nanay is hypertensive so this kind of stuffs should be taken carefully with her.

but before i could have those above closures, there’s a need for me to close the communication gap between me and nanay. blame it on the 36-year gap between us plus the thing that since highschool, i was away from her. righteous consevative mother vs UP environment growing up daughter. i’m not a rebel kid but there are things i come to accept that for her are mortal sins. i think growing up, i keep 2 faces — the one which i assume how my mother would want me to be, and the other one which is more like I (i really do not know how my friends see me but that’s it). if you think of this dilemma(sp?), it’s easy as 1 + 1. but sometimes, life is complicated, just like that. =)

so this all souls day, i will light candles for our souls, and for all those who have some  ‘excess baggage’/cross/whateveryoucallthem to be able to find that closure and  peace of mind.

happy all souls and saints day! =)

best halloween gift

the abs-cbn show, kokey, which starred ruffa guttierez will end next week. details here. you do not need some media specialist to know that that show is such a bigggggggg flop!!! just one look at that kokey alien/monster, and you’d see abortion upcoming! literally, kokey looks like those aborted babies plastered on anti-abortion websites, only they ‘uglily’ blow it up.

puryagaba!!!   

best halloween gift

the abs-cbn show, kokey, which starred ruffa guttierez will end next week. details here. you do not need some media specialist to know that that show is such a bigggggggg flop!!! just one look at that kokey alien/monster, and you’d see abortion upcoming! literally, kokey looks like those aborted babies plastered on anti-abortion websites, only they ‘uglily’ blow it up.

puryagaba!!!   

all i want for christmas

i don’t have a christmas list yet, and i don’t think i’ll have one for this year. i don’t like to say we’re poor because i believe in self-fulifilling prophecy (tinooron nya ni Papa Jesus.). let’s just say that we have money but it might come to us next year pa. heheheh. (dear God, please make it on 1st quarter of the year kay manganak na ra ba ko. please be reminded na c-section ko.) 

giving is receiving so please let me receive so i can give. =)

to the point of this blah… all i want for christmas is a Lesportsac(sp?) big bag. i have one and only, and it’s already worn out and so ghetto-looking already. hehehe. please ayaw lang sad ng ‘imit,’ its price is just 1/100th of those LV-balenciaga-or-whatever-is-in-the-closet-of-gretchen-barretto. so yes, so affordable. i do not have a bag collection, so that gift will be used to the max from wet market to formal occassions(sp). heheheh… see, it will be such a treasured gift. =) for those who will give, you will receive a bag with all the expensive logos/brands in it, in return of your kindness.

all i want for christmas

i don’t have a christmas list yet, and i don’t think i’ll have one for this year. i don’t like to say we’re poor because i believe in self-fulifilling prophecy (tinooron nya ni Papa Jesus.). let’s just say that we have money but it might come to us next year pa. heheheh. (dear God, please make it on 1st quarter of the year kay manganak na ra ba ko. please be reminded na c-section ko.) 

giving is receiving so please let me receive so i can give. =)

to the point of this blah… all i want for christmas is a Lesportsac(sp?) big bag. i have one and only, and it’s already worn out and so ghetto-looking already. hehehe. please ayaw lang sad ng ‘imit,’ its price is just 1/100th of those LV-balenciaga-or-whatever-is-in-the-closet-of-gretchen-barretto. so yes, so affordable. i do not have a bag collection, so that gift will be used to the max from wet market to formal occassions(sp). heheheh… see, it will be such a treasured gift. =) for those who will give, you will receive a bag with all the expensive logos/brands in it, in return of your kindness.

hallowhine

i’m not really for halloween costume party/trick or treat or whatever you call it. i find it overrated. maybe because it’s about costume. and costume for me is fashion. and fashion is just not so me! or maybe because i’m such a cheap mother. i don’t want to spend on some costume which will only be used once, and jsut for like how many hours, and it might even include some ‘force/fistfights’ just to get my kids wear it because demmit i spent money on it you better wear it. =) yes, cheapskate!

well, the thing is the place we are in now has this annual halloween costume party for kids. yay! of course, my kids are joining. =) i’m just a cheapskate not a snob. hehehe. the first costume idea that popped into my head is shredded ‘sako sa harina’ with blood stains and ‘kalkag’ hair (sisa is that you?) but my kids might look overdressed. overdress as such that my kids will look scary as in real scary that other kids might be scarred for life upon seeing them. and halloween party is not to make your kids look scary. it’s about making your kids look cute in some cute-scary outfit. =)

the other day, we went to sm. i really have no plans of buying outfits unless migi and meg are with me because they might not like my choices (they’re already in the stage where they would insist what they want). but we passed by a booth that was selling all about halloween costumes. so i looked and looked, and got the feeling that basin mahutdan ko. so i picked up a cowboy costume for migi because the salesguy was like saying it was the bestseller. and, to be on the safeside also, i opted for it as migi might scared with the other costumes. for meg, i wanted to get those witchy kind of dresses but there is no available size for her. so i ended up buying this butterfly outfit. it looks like some princess dress, not really a halloween costume i would say but wa na’y lain.

at home, i was excited to try the stuffs on them… and the thing i dreaded most happened — they do NOT like the costumes! so much for my fashion talent. come to think of it, panghadlok pa gali na na fashion.

hallowhine

i’m not really for halloween costume party/trick or treat or whatever you call it. i find it overrated. maybe because it’s about costume. and costume for me is fashion. and fashion is just not so me! or maybe because i’m such a cheap mother. i don’t want to spend on some costume which will only be used once, and jsut for like how many hours, and it might even include some ‘force/fistfights’ just to get my kids wear it because demmit i spent money on it you better wear it. =) yes, cheapskate!

well, the thing is the place we are in now has this annual halloween costume party for kids. yay! of course, my kids are joining. =) i’m just a cheapskate not a snob. hehehe. the first costume idea that popped into my head is shredded ‘sako sa harina’ with blood stains and ‘kalkag’ hair (sisa is that you?) but my kids might look overdressed. overdress as such that my kids will look scary as in real scary that other kids might be scarred for life upon seeing them. and halloween party is not to make your kids look scary. it’s about making your kids look cute in some cute-scary outfit. =)

the other day, we went to sm. i really have no plans of buying outfits unless migi and meg are with me because they might not like my choices (they’re already in the stage where they would insist what they want). but we passed by a booth that was selling all about halloween costumes. so i looked and looked, and got the feeling that basin mahutdan ko. so i picked up a cowboy costume for migi because the salesguy was like saying it was the bestseller. and, to be on the safeside also, i opted for it as migi might scared with the other costumes. for meg, i wanted to get those witchy kind of dresses but there is no available size for her. so i ended up buying this butterfly outfit. it looks like some princess dress, not really a halloween costume i would say but wa na’y lain.

at home, i was excited to try the stuffs on them… and the thing i dreaded most happened — they do NOT like the costumes! so much for my fashion talent. come to think of it, panghadlok pa gali na na fashion.