i knew i was pregnant when 2 lines came out of the test kit last saturday, the last day of june. hoping that i’d still get my period at the very last day of the month, i did the test on the night of 30th . those preg test kits never failed me before so there’s no hope of ever getting a false alarm. a negative result has still hopes of being positive. but when it’s positive, it can never be negative. =) (i’m not making sense.)
there’s just so many things i want to write. it’s just that i don’t know where/how to start. i don’t know how to articulate them all (as if i was really good with articulating). plus, women’s brain shrink to percentage something when they’re pregnant (but comes back to it’s size after giving birth). but, i don’t think this applies to me. i have no brains to shrink. =)
really really really. this is quite unexpected. just like my other pregnancies. hehehe. anyways, with 2 previous unplanned pregnancies, i was hoping that it will not be the case for the 3rd time. i want something like, we’d be announcing to our friends that we’re planning to have a baby. and, then everybody wishes us well to have that baby. and, then, i’ll be all giddy-yap to do home tests, and gets sad when only 1 line appears. and if it’s positive, i’ll be crying with tears of joy and cannot wait to announce to the world that we’re pregnant! but this is not the case, and i don’t think i will ever have that experience. because this will probably be my last pregnancy and baby.
i was c-sectioned with migi and meg. so this will be my 3rd time to be sliced. normally, after 3 c-sections, you’d be ligitated(sp?). really, i wanted to have 1 more (after 5 or 10 years pa sad), but i don’t want to take chances. with meg, i was already adviced for ligation but my ever ever dearest husband said no because he thought ‘sayang ang genes.’ kidding yo. both of us are only child so the reason why no ligation. thus, we have now number 3. and, this is it — the period. sigh of relief. =) i can feel you all saying, ‘ay, salamat. may katapusan din.’
no joke i had Responsible Parenthood subject back in high school. unfortunately, it did not work on me.
so now. over the weekend, i was not really feeling so well about the two lines. of course there’s financial issue. but i think that’s the least worry i have right now. when migi came, we’re broke but survived. when meg came, we’re broke again. but we survived. no question about it — God provides. =)
more of for selfish reasons. you see, since migi to meg, i felt like i have no life. it was like work-home, work-home, work-home. i got disconnected to the whole world, i don’t see my friends or been out of my routine because my free time was/is for my kids/home. so fastforward to now, with migi and meg a bit grown up plus the thing that i’m working at home, i started to have my little freedom, my me-time. now that i’m pregnant again, it feels like it’s time to say goodbye to that little freedom again. selfish, noh? i can hear mark saying, ‘imo problema is that wa pa ka ka-let go sa imo damgo (he’s referring to my illusion of being single and careferee) and move on to being a mother. tan-awa ra gud sige pa ka multiply. taga oras, sige log-in. murag naay na change taga oras sa multiply.’ hahahaha… he just don’t know how fun the people are in multiply. =) multiply fanatics, feel free to bash on my husbandry.
i was praying for God to send me a pre-approved housing loan but He surprised me with an invaluable blessing! =)
so, yes. i’m pregnant for the 3rd time in a span of 3 years. =) now, i know what my real talent is. =)