when you are pregnant, you must have a happy disposition because it would affect the baby and this and that. in the first place, who wants not to be happy?
but there’s a point when you’re too tired to be happy. and it doesn’t help when you were not able to have a good sleep for 8 months now and counting. and it doesn’t help when you have a baby who wakes up in the middle of the night asking for some milk, or some “pikpik”, or some carrying and rocking, and then wakes up very early morning (for your younger sibling’s sake, go back to sleep miguel) and you have to wake up too because he wants to go out and play already. and it doesn’t help when you have a super active baby, who cannot stay in one place. and it doesn’t help when you have a very insensitive husband! and it doesn’t help when sometimes you cannot go to sleep early because the baby is still up or your husband demands to accompany him while watching his fave show! and it doesn’t help when your baby only takes short naps, just when you’re about to take your nap, your baby’s is wide awake! and it doesn’t help when you feel like you’re so bloated, and all your comfy clothes are not comfy anymore and you still don’t feel like wearing maternity dresses because you just gotten over those dresses. and it doesn’t help that you do not see your friends always so you have no one who will listen to your rants any more even though they don’t understand what you’re talking about because they are still single and enjoying life and their only concern is how to hook up with their dream boy (exagge but then). and it doesn’t help when you don’t know what you are going to do after giving birth to the 2nd baby. and it doesn’t help when you don’t know how to make some time for yourself, and i really don’t know. and it doesn’t help when you don’t have some extra help/hand on weekends, except for your husband but i don’t want to complain on that anymore because i know he’s trying his best to help but for some unknown i’m still frustrated. and, i repeat, it doesn’t help when your husband is insensitive, and i assume he thinks mothers do not get tired!
my point here is i badly need a good undisturbed sleep at least once a month. 8 hours straight or even 6 hours is already a holy one! i’m now on my breaking point!!! this monring, i actually throw some tantrums where i actually roll on the floor and shout and cry! and, i still don’t feel better now, and i don’t like it that i’m still not happy! i’m so drained!
i know this is petty compared to other people’s problem. imagine those mothers with more than 6 childrens in a row! do they also have tantrums? but, please just let me have this one.