Can I Ever Moved on from my 14-year relationship…

…with my SSS ID? These past days i’ve been tracing back our last moments, hoping that i would find you.

I went to rose pharmacy 4 times — it’s the last memory I have of you — but no lack!
I had the palawan pawnshop guard went thru all the IDS he kept.
banks staff were giving me “NO, we don’t have it” as answer.

These all mean that you’re definitely gone.

But i still cannot accept it.

it’s not the first time that i lost you.
My wallet was once snatched, thankfully it was found in some vacant bushy place of reclamation, back in the days when there were no buildings on that area.
I left you in tacloban on a roadtrip, but thankfully, you found your way back to me courtesy of the kind hotel staff.

So I’m still wishing that we will be guided back to each others’.

i so badly miss your face, my face in that ID, and all the snippets of life in it.

That ID was taken a week after i delivered my 1st baby.
I was c-sectioned thus I had to bring my body, still in pain, very early in the morning just so I could get a priority number in SSS lapulapu.
You were a requirement to get my SSS maternity benefit which was around worth 10K.

I don’t know how to explain my feelings remembering what we had to go through just so I could get my 10K maternity benefit.
I felt like we’re so innocent at that time. =)

And so despite how ugly AF I am/was in that ID, it totally means a lot to me.
I felt that my “tokhang” face in that ID captured what it was that moment.
Every time, I looked at it, I thought it was such a horrible moment but then I never felt it was horrible.
Hey, I just want to get my 10K for being sliced open to deliver a baby after nine months of lugging him inside me!

So please, give me back my SSS ID, my innocence!
I guess It’s so hard to move on from some thing that I probably no longer have.