Dear glossy parenting mag, before u give tips on kid’s bday parties

Please consider first writing about tips on how to alight from a public jeepney transportation with more than 1 kid plus balloons and loot bags SAFELY!

Because i just witness one, and all the passengers seem to have a mini heart attack.
To save you from the un-fabulousness of writing such unglamorous piece of advice, let me do it for you.
1. Mother / parents, be the first to get down and out of the jeepney.
2. Leave your kids first inside the jeepney in the care of the strangers. Do NOT let them get down first.
3. Once you’re down from the jeepney, that’s when you let your kids get down from the jeepney.
4. If the balloon flew away upon alighting, please do not bother going after it in the middle of the street.
5. And, parents, there are free birth control aides at public health centers. If you cannot handle more than 1 kid in public transpo, please consider that you better stop breeding.
6. By the way, the outside of jeepney is NOT a trash can, please do not throw your trash in there.
7. Fill in the blank.